Boomer Twilight

Mostly Humorous Observations of Most Anything, with a Boomer Slant

If Turkeys Were Pigeons and Pigeons Were Turkeys

with 9 comments

Suppose the Pilgrims decided to have pigeon for dinner instead of turkey; how would we be different? The common pigeon is everywhere, crapping on everything. What if it was a turkey? The load would be greater and statues would deteriorate at a much faster pace. Turkeys are beautiful, pigeons are “Eh.” But, if pigeons were celebrated like turkeys, where would we be?

Our Thanksgiving feast would be much different if pigeon was the main course. We would need more fowl carcasses to feed the family (a 13 pound turkey is equivalent to 16 average pigeons), stuffing would be limited; and what about cranberry sauce? Would the vile condiment be as good with pigeon? I hate it anyway, but those who like it might be put off. There would be more wish bones for the kids, but smaller legs for the fathers. Carving would be quicker for Dad, too.

If turkeys were pigeons and pigeons were turkeys, WWI would have been altered. Pigeons were used to relay messages in the absence of reliable communications systems. Turkeys really don’t fly very far or very well, although they could probably carry a bigger load. Turkeys make a larger target to be shot down by the enemy, so their usefulness as messengers would have been limited.

If turkeys were pigeons, we would “coo” our food rather than “gobble.” Even though a “coo” is a decidedly more pleasant sound than a “gobble,” what would Sergeant York have done during WWI? His method of enticing the Germans to raise their heads for killing was to “gobble” like a turkey. I doubt they would have reacted to the “coo.”

Imagine walking the streets of New York with unlimited turkeys flying overhead. Personally, I would rather be bombed by a few dozen pigeons than half-a-dozen turkeys. The damage from turkeys could be severe. There would be much less room on the sidewalks, and I doubt a flock of turkeys would scatter as quickly and efficiently as a bunch of pigeons. Fortunately, we treat turkeys with much more respect than pigeons due to their historical significance; therefore, turkeys are more easily tolerated. The ability of the turkeys to nest in Sky Scraper crevices would be a much more difficult task for the birds. Pigeons adjust well, due to their smaller size. And what about all the people who raise carrier pigeons on rooftops? They would need more room for turkeys, and there would be a danger of letting the birds loose from the roofs. They could very well fall upon unsuspecting passersby. Old men on fixed incomes, sitting on park benches, would have to spend more to feed turkeys.

Of course, as an American I have savored turkey quite often. Pigeon has not been a meal for me, thus far. Now, you are probably wondering what it might be like. Squab is pigeon. I was caught by surprise, too. Being on the East Coast, we really don’t eat much squab. I don’t recall seeing it on a menu recently. But, it is considered a delicacy. I would have a tough time with a squab leg being deposited on my plate with a message tied to it. Kind of like a fortune cookie. When I pass a pigeon on the street, I don’t think of food. If that pigeon was a turkey, a homeless person could eat for a week. I’m not sure they are eating pigeon, but a turkey would be hard to resist.

Thanksgiving will be here soon. We’ll gorge ourselves on turkey, without any thought of pigeon. Squab will not be on our minds. We will be busy enjoying stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie, beer, wine and liquor. I doubt any of us will be considering pigeon. But, if the Pilgrims chose the bird we take for granted and consider more of a pest than a morsel, pigeon would be the featured dish.

Happy Thanksgiving.

With Love,

Bake My Fish

Written by Bake My Fish

November 23, 2008 at 9:44 pm

9 Responses

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  1. […] Bird If Turkeys Were Pigeons and Pigeons Were Turkeys Boomer Twilight __________________ Boomer […]

  2. Dear half baked…

    How many pigeons does it take to change a light bulb?
    None silly, their feet are too tiny…

    I don’t think could eat a pigeon…even though most are better feed in major cities than cats…not that I would eat a cat, either…

    I know they are really acceptable in your fancy smancy restaurants…but it is still just a pigeon to me! Squab is for those who hob-nob.

    Did you know that during WWII that pigeons were almost wipped out in some places? There was not much else to eat. The Damn Germans took or killed everything else.

    I don’t eat goldfish either…too small…it is hard for me to eat anything that is a pet.

    Oh…as I regress…

    Did you see where CNN News linked back to BBAC…???

    ‘Palin’s star shines bright when Oprah calls’…
    Of course it is under “From the blogs”….then Controversy…LOLOL
    But still, a way cool kudo!

    Southern smiles and world peace,
    ~The Baby Boomer Queen~


    November 23, 2008 at 10:52 pm

  3. […] Here is the original post: If Turkeys Were Pigeons and Pigeons Were Turkeys « Boomer Twilight […]

  4. This was too funny. All I could think of was trying to stuff a pigeon.



    November 24, 2008 at 10:19 am

  5. What a good imagination!!!!


    November 24, 2008 at 6:02 pm

  6. Thanks – that was quite enjoyable.


    November 24, 2008 at 6:02 pm

  7. Very imaginative story. I raised pigeons as a child growing up in Morningside, MD. I never thought much of them as food although I was aware that the pigeons for sale at the old D.C. Farmers Market off of Florida Avenue were sold for that purpose. I bought my pigeons to keep as pets at that same market and still recall how my dad would help me to pick out a healthy and fit bird. He raised racing pigeons in his youth and as a young man in the Twining City area of DC near Anacostia. He later served in the US Army Pigeon Signal Corps during WWII and used pigeons to send enemy position coordinates to army artillery units while in France, Holland and Germany.

    In later years I learned to hunt and managed to bag doves ( a member of the pigeon family). My cousin and I would bring the doves to my Uncles Restaurant on Pennsylvania Avenue in S.E., DC and he would have the cook prepare the doves for us to eat. They were quite small and it took 3 – 4 to provide a satisfying amount of food to growing teenage boys. As I recall they tasted just fine. I imagine pigeons would taste somewhat the same.

    Some years later when I had a job working as a Park Naturalist at a nature center in North Arlington, VA. The subject of squab came up in a conversation I was having with a US park policeman. Park Patrol policemen often stopped at the nature center on Military Road due to its proximity to the GW Memorial Parkway to use the facilities, freshen up and eat lunch. Passing time by shooting the breeze was a break from the routine nature of their job and my own.

    One day an officer was going on about an arrest he had done involving several Middle Eastern men on the parkway that were observed placing and climbing ladders in the traffic lanes under bridges passing over the parkway between National Airport and Georgetown. It turns out these guys were after the squabs that were being raised by the adult pigeons on the bridge girders on the underside of the bridges. It wasn’t of course the collecting of the squabs that concerned the police. There were no statutes covering that, however, impeding the flow of the traffic lanes by placing and climbing the ladders was an offense that led to arrest, court and fines.

    Apparently, squab is a favored food and considered a delicacy in places like Lebanon and Syria. Growing up in the DC area in the 50’s and 60’s, the city seemed more like a typical, sleepy southern city. This incident in the early 80’s made me realize that DC was undergoing a major demographic shift and was becoming more international in nature. Cultural clashes such as this were becoming far more common. Probably in their home countries it was perfectly routine and acceptable to gather squabs from underneath bridges and other infrastructure. No doubt, pigeon populations might be more balanced in areas of the world where they are consumed as food. Foraging for wild food in a city environment like Washington D.C. probably seemed alien and unlawful to the citizens that saw and reported the suspicious behavior to the U.S. Park police. The Fairfax Co. community I live in today is less homogenous than the areas I grew up in as a child. My neighborhood today is comprised of African nationals, Koreans, Chinese, Hispanics, Europeans, African Americans, Indians & Pakistanis, and Middle Eastern families. Occasinally the community has block parties sponsored by the Community Association and everyone brings a potluck dish. It ends up being a delightful international smorgasboard. To date, no one has yet to have served squab. But who knows, anything can happen.

    Martin Tillett

    November 25, 2008 at 1:19 pm

  8. […] I thought you might be interested in what this fellow had to say. His name is Martin Tillett. If Turkeys Were Pigeons and Pigeons Were Turkeys Boomer Twilight __________________ Boomer […]

  9. A sobering, Serling-esque vision of what might have been. Nicely done.

    I’m not an eater of pigeon, either, but the last few years my family has had cornish hens for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, in lieu of turkey. They aren’t much bigger than a good sized pigeon, but boy are they tasty. Not quite chicken. A little off. But close. Closer than pigeon, I’d guess.

    But then again, how the hell would I know? There are pigeons all over the place here in Sharpsburg, and I’ve grown far too attached to the personalities of the birds to ever consider eating one. Plus there’s the fact that they’re teeming with disease.


    December 3, 2008 at 11:53 am

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