Boomer Twilight

Mostly Humorous Observations of Most Anything, with a Boomer Slant

Bats in Hats

with 8 comments

Have you seen the recent Burger King Whopper Virgins commercials testing the Whopper against the Big Mac? They use Eskimos, who prefer Seal meat, tribespeople from Thailand, and some fellows from Transylvania. That’s Vampire territory, right?

What strikes me as funny are the little headpieces the Transylvania guys are wearing. Is it a joke, or do they really wear those things? The Producers of the commercials swear no actors were used and nothing is fake. Frankly, I think Burger King is messing around with us because all the characters in the films are dressed in their ceremonial garb, usually worn only once or twice a year for festivals and celebrations, not day-to-day. I couldn’t find any pictures on the Internet suggesting the toppers are real, so I am wondering if guys from Transylvania are upset by the stereotype being conveyed by Burger King?

The ads make them look pretty silly, and I worry about Vampire terrorists in my future. Could these portrayals cause them to begin attacking us in our sleep? “Leave the Transylvania guys alone, Mr. Burger King Executive.” Political correctness is real, especially if the absence of it can lead to blood-sucking intruders flying into our homes or accosting us in dark alleys and draining our fluids.

During the 50s men wore hats all the time. It was a part of the business uniform. An insurance salesman coming to your home to sit at the kitchen table and sell you something usually wore a fedora or maybe a bowler. They were stylish and tasteful. But, the guys in the Burger King commercials look kind of stupid. “Sorry, Mr. Transylvania Man if I am hurting your feelings, but you should rethink your wardrobe.” If there is something festive about the accessory, then maybe you should keep it “under your hat.” I’m afraid seeing you in public will cause me to stare or snicker. It just doesn’t seem worth the comparison of the flame-broiled, 1/4 pound beef patty, with lettuce, mayonnaise, pickles, tomatoes, onions, ketchup on a sesame seed bun to the two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Today all the guys seem to be wearing baseball-style caps; the greasy-lined lids they slide on and off with little thought of hygiene. Most of them are used to hide baldness or the lack of shampooing. It’s easier to throw on a cap and ride to the nearest breakfast drive-thru than it is to take a shower and clean the hair. I haven’t noticed anyone in my neighborhood wearing the silly Transylvania hats displayed in the BK commercials. So, “Come on Burger King, show what they really wear.” There is no way they are donning the ridiculous lids portrayed in the advertisements. If they are, then my appreciation of differing cultures is being challenged, and I will have to laugh with the rest of the world. Those hats are comical.

What would be the function of the headdresses? They are small and barely fit the noggins of the testers, so it can’t be for warmth. They probably have some religious or celebratory purpose. There are little tassels hanging from the side with a brim, and they sit on top in some sort of hysterical display, like an Organ Grinder’s Monkey. If you watch the commercials you know what I mean. It cracks me up every time I see them, and I wonder if the “actors” feel as silly as they look. I’m sure they’re not really Vampires; most likely American Thespians with a Transylvania look, possessing dark, evil eyes.

I don’t suppose it would do any good to write Homeland Security and warn them of the danger to our society due to Burger King’s insensitivity by running a commercial making bufoons out of suspected Vampires. They would just tell me to knock it off and stop being paranoid. But, if I wake up some night and there is a bat in a hat hovering over my bed, I’m gonna dress up like Ronald McDonald, hunt down the Burger King and kick his ass.

With Love,

Bake My Fish

8 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. Being a Milliner…I truly enjoyed your bats and hats article.
    Personally I think that bat that was featured the red fedora, was a Pimp Daddy Bat. I have seem his kind before out on the Strip. Usually with a bunch of girl bats hangin’ out with him, dressed in sleazy see through clothing and high heels.

    Southern smiles and world peace,
    ~The Baby Boomer Queen~


    January 6, 2009 at 11:49 pm

  2. OH yes, one more thing…did anyone but me notice the resemblance between Peter Lorre and the Pug dog with the Fez hat? Do I hear “Play it again Sam,” in the background?

    ~The Baby Boomer Queen~


    January 6, 2009 at 11:52 pm

  3. That is some funny stuff.

    Josh Gabel

    January 7, 2009 at 5:26 pm

  4. I hope I don’t get attacked in my sleep! Good one . . .


    January 8, 2009 at 12:05 pm

  5. How come the burgers at BK do not look like that one?
    That is my question to you…
    And will some one please knock that silly smile off of Ronald. Give me the Hamburgler any day!

    ~The Baby Boomer Queen~


    January 28, 2009 at 11:57 am

  6. I a întemeia al tău site while privire la spre buy un pălărie online. I sînt înăuntru America right acum şi a face nu appreciate al tău remarks despre our headwear. Tu eşti nu un foarte drăguţ bărbat Mr. peşte

    Sancti Gerhardi

    January 28, 2009 at 3:50 pm

  7. The bat in the hat just had me spitting my coffee I laughed so hard. I have a rant blog called The Brat in the Hat – maybe I actually should have called it The Old Bat in a Hat, lol!

    I’m so glad I found you over at Twitter – I get little tweet giggles and now I found your blog. BTW, thanks for the link love – I shall pop this blog into The PopArtDiva Boomer Blog links, my readers will love your sense of humor!

    Pop Art Diva

    February 27, 2009 at 10:06 am

  8. Hi. I just came over from Twitter. Thanks for being a follower 🙂 This is a very nice site and I definitely appreciate the humor. That creature in the red hat is scary. I’d rather have fish under my bed opposed to that thing any day 🙂

    Christina Bledsoe

    February 27, 2009 at 10:13 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: