OK, here it is. I was a Fat Guy! Since February 4, 2022, I have lost 75 pounds, 25 to go. There’s no one to blame but myself for getting that big. The magic formula . . . . too much food + too little exercise = Fat Guy! Gosh, I feel like a scientist.
When I was a small child in the mid 50s, McDonald’s was just beginning the surge of fast food establishments. In 1955 Ray Kroc opened the first franchise outside Chicago. The original McDonald’s opened in 1940. Many of you probably know the origin and history of the company from The History Channel or Food TV. So, I won’t bore you with the details of when they began and how they have grown. If you are unaware of the history and want to read about it, check out the following link Mickey D’s. I’m not here to pick on McDonald’s, but they are often cited as a leading cause of the Obesity Crisis in America, and a Boomer Icon.
It’s as if the Obesity Crisis magically occurred. A Plague struck us when no one was looking. We grew immense and it’s all the fault of the food vendors. Or so the frivolous lawsuits would have us believe. On July 23, 2002, Caesar Barber filed a lawsuit against McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Burger King (he got around), claiming they were responsible for the 272-pound Bronx resident’s obesity, two heart attacks and diabetes. Now, I don’t know how tall this fellow is, but for him to be considered ideal weight would mean he’d have to be somewhere in the neighborhood of the height of an adolescent oak tree. Did it not dawn on him that he was eating too much and growing in stature? Was the increase in waist size over the years not a hint? Like I said earlier, “Hello . . . . I was a Fat Guy!”
If we believe the fast food business is responsible for our largeness, let’s develop a scenario of how they did it. They probably have a back room where unsuspecting patrons are strapped to a chair, while infinite burgers, fries (you know you like the fries) and deep-fried things are shoved in their gullets, washing it all down with super-sized milk shakes. It’s their fault for making stuff people like to eat! We should probably require them to put warnings on the wrappers, “Caution! Eating too much of this can possibly cause obesity, which can lead to high cholesterol, high blood pressure, diabetes and heart attacks!” Duh. I guess it goes along with the other self-inflicted diseases we struggle with these days but blame everyone else for causing. But why waste the print on the warnings? No one will pay attention, even if they are old enough to read. Just buy bigger clothes and help the sweat suit industry (eventually they’ll be sued for making us look frumpy).
How many chins, asses and excess folds of flesh do we have to grow before we get it? No problem, they developed pills to make it OK for us to keep eating and eating and eating. High cholesterol? Take a pill. High blood pressure? Take a pill. I know, I do. How many occasions does your workplace celebrate with cake, ice cream, cookies, and donuts? Celebratory salads, celery sticks, tofu, and carrots just aren’t considered festive. But stick a candle in a cake and everybody sings, applauds and gorges. Probably the #1 song in the world is “Happy Birthday.” We all know the words. They even have ridiculous renditions of it at restaurants, sung by the help, clapping their hands in a silly way, while they are delivering the dessert to your table, as you feign embarrassment and surprise.
I don’t mean to be preachy, but I feel the need to confess and purge my soul. Don’t blame the food guys for being overweight if you are a victim of the Obesity Crisis. Blame your right or left hand for the inability to put down the fork, spoon, knife, glass, fingers, or whatever conveyance is used during your gluttony. Just remember . . when losing weight, 80% is diet, 20% is exercise. I like those percentages.
Bake My Fish
One thought on “Old McDonald’s Had A Pig . . . . Eee Yaaa Oh?”
Amen Boomer you nailed that one. A novel idea “Personal Responsibility.”